to Robyn, on Being 'Robotboy'

Hey Robyn!I was just listening to your song, 'Robotboy,' and I thought I'd answer all the questions you had. I hope this response relieves some of your worry:[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHXgngTV2ZQ]"Where you been?"I've been at work, or at home, or any of the other various places I go. I make a determined effort to find new ground as often as possible, even if it's just a little thing - a new corner of a room to stand in, a new place to eat tofu, or a new building that would look nice in a photograph. 'Where' is an interesting concept. Sometimes I think of 'here' as more than just the place I'm sitting, or what city I'm in. Could 'where' also be a place I'm thinking of? Is where just the few square feet around my body? Is it everywhere I'm capable of being within a certain amount of minutes?"Are you lost again?"Lost isn't always a bad thing. Many oft-referenced quotes back this up, you know, about wandering and the road less traveled or whatever. There's actually a book by Rebecca Solnit, called "A Field Guide to Getting Lost," that covers, in detail, the wondrous joy of having not a clue where the fuck you are, or where you're going. So if you're asking as a matter of concern, be sure, all is well!"Will you find your coordinates home?"Maybe Tomorrow... (Just kidding, that's a Stereophonics song.) Really, I don't know. What is home to you? Is home 'wherever you are?' Is it where you're 'chillin outside with the people you know?' Are you going to take me there, tonight? Are you asking me if I'm going to find my way, or are you specifically telling me to come back home? The problem with being a robot is that it takes a lot of data analyzation for us to get to the root of an inquiry. We have to really read into the core of a request to properly respond."Did you crash again?"I'm grateful to have never been in a serious automobile accident. Crashing in other ways, like, drinking too much and waking up on the floor - it happens. To crash, you must have already picked up speed - you can't crash if you're starting from a stationary position. Sometimes I pick up momentum in pursuit of a goal, and the thing I'm aiming for moves too quickly for me to adjust directions, so I crash into the space it left behind, or whatever obstacle popped up in front of it."Do you need a friend?"A friend? What do you mean, Robyn? Like, a few hundred .jpg images of people I knew in middle school that I can click through in a random, mind-numbing sequence on facebook? That's what friends are - right? No, maybe that's not what you meant. I read a lot, and sometimes I think of the authors of whatever I'm reading as 'friends.' I mean, I do spend a lot of time 'with' them, by reading what they wrote - but that goes back to the first question of what 'where' is, I guess."Shut your lasers down while you can."Sometimes I do wish I could just shut my lasers down. They are like, everywhere! I'm going to stretch your plea to other shiny, blinky things besides just lasers - let's shut down laptops, phones, TV's, traffic lights, and treadmills. But then - how am I going to listen to your song? I'd have to go live with the Masai or in the Baffin Bay to really spend a day without anything blinking or laser-beaming at me."Let your X-Ray shine!"Oh, Robyn, I wish my X-Ray were functioning at 100%. It's usually not. Many things are unpredictable or indecipherable. If I could point my X-Ray into the future, and have it see through all the bullshit and reveal where I'm headed, that might take the fun out of the journey. If my X-Ray worked on people (their minds, not their bodies) I would be better prepared for the curve balls they throw, and that might save me some trouble. So I'm working on fixing the X-Ray, or building a better one. I'm always working on that.