Last Stop, Beijing

My last day in China, in Beijing now. Went to the Forbidden City this morning. Beijing plays the “capital” role well and reminds me of Washington with its orderly traffic, wide streets, leafy trees, restrained architecture. Getting into the city from the airport looked very similar to coming in from Dulles, roads well lit and paved, visible signs, decent driving. It feels like a different country here, not the same one that Xi’an or Shanghai exists in. The difference between Beijing and the rest of the country seems more than between Washington and the rest of the USA. In the airport I was previsualizing my return home. It felt strange.

I’ve gotten used to eating Chinese food every day, with chopsticks, and having people around all the time. Even in rural China, it seems there are always people around. I’m not sure what’s next for me as I sit here in the Temple of Earth park in Beijing, this 500 year old place. How I’ll return to my normal life is uncertain. I have new knowledge about the world, it seems a little smaller than before. And I think I know the Chinese people a bit more, with a new understanding of their culture.

In Beijing I get the sense of all the cities being connected, that leaving one for another is just moving inside the same one. I’ve thought about what it means to have been to a city, if walking around, taking photos of the same places I’ve seen in photos, the only images I know of the city being replicated, if that constitutes knowing a place, or if to really know a person has to get lost, spend time, have conversations, give and take for more than a few hours.

I feel like I’ve just finished an amazing journey, and haven’t documented everything about it. So what happens to the parts which are left uninsurable? Do they fall off into the universe never to be remembered or are they absorbed by my mind subconsciously, permanently affecting my perspective, giving me new feeling and direction. So many details of things I’ve seen that escaped my pen, and camera, that I hope I’ll remember some other way.

I’m certainly glad I took this trip, and all the indecision I had before, any worry I had about it, has been absolved.
In the future I’d like to continue learning about China, filling in the gaps I had in my mind this time.

I can sense the possible futures which might become my reality, and its beautiful not to know exactly what they are, or to have even a vague idea, but to be content and expect goodness to come.